Articles of Interest

Articles of Interest

Many readers, both Dominants and submissives, send me messages asking about submissive or slave training. They want to know if there is a "correct" way to do it. I always tell them with respect, compassion, and deep understanding of the individual person and situation. I believe that just as every person is different, every situation is also. You have to adapt training to fit your submissive's personality, as well as your relationship and lifestyle. If your sub/slave is a brat, you will usually end up giving harsher and more frequent punishments.
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Unfortunately we live in a world where rape culture is so rife that people no longer realise when they engage in it. Though we all know the staggering statistics about sexual assault, we seem to assume that no one we know has gone through that. We would have known! No, you wouldn’t have. Especially if you have been laughing at rape jokes or engaging in them yourself.
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Newcomers to the scene can learn an awful lot from attending play parties, but many are intimidated by the protocol and the unknown. This article is designed as a quick study to arm you with the basics to give you the confidence to attend play parties without tripping over the rules and accidentally offending anyone. It may also serve as a reminder to more seasoned community members who are so used to being on the scene that they sometimes forget basic protocol.
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Play is always a very intense emotional interaction. Be it between sadist and masochist, Dominant and submissive, or Master and slave. Contrary to the common belief, actual emotions are revealed and sometimes triggered in play. Unlike sex, a known quantity that we learn about from very early age and the western culture is preoccupied with, which we practice often, play is new to many of us. Even experienced players have played much less than say a few hundred times in their lives.
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It's a liberating feeling when the jigsaw pieces fall together and the moment of self-awareness occurs - that point when one first thinks "I am a submissive." But that's just setting one foot on the start of the road. Your next few steps could lead you right into one of many well-known pitfalls as the search begins to find a dominant woman to complement you. Here, then, are four common pitfalls which can occur in the early stages of exploring one's submission as a male seeking a Female-Led Relationship - and ways to potentially avoid them.
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Dom drop and sub drop are topics that are very frequently discussed and researched, but usually in the context of aftercare suggestions and methods after scene or session play. There is no doubt that your Dom may need aftercare after an intense scene or session due to the incredible amount of physical, mental and many times emotional energy that is spent during such play time. The adrenaline and endorphin release alone can cause a crash of sorts for your Dom, when the scene is over, (I consider this more accurately called “Top Drop”) and you would do well as /s types to watch for this as it can cause injury to your Dom if undetected. However, that is addressed in other writings and I wanted to discuss in this post another side of Dom Drop that we rarely talk about.
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Being happily married for 22 years in this day & age is a huge accomplishment to begin with; especially when all you are told is that “it’ll never last”. So, what now? The kids have grown (although still living at home) and W/we still have a great connection in every way possible; even after I had major back surgery in 2009. He took care of me in every way needed as all I could do is either lay in bed or on the couch & read or watch TV for the first month after surgery.
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What do we do when we know we are submissive, yet we sometimes feel rebellious inside? From one side, you think to yourself that this feeling isn't normal. As a submissive, you should feel happy to serve and perform any task or command your Dominant gives you. Right? Wrong.
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If you are new to the lifestyle or find yourself confused at times and reverting back and forth between BDSM and vanilla life, the following article should help you. I have gotten many emails lately asking for advice on how to spice up or restart a D/s or M/s relationship. There have been many couples that start exploring the BDSM Lifestyle after one of the partners had read an erotica book talking about the subject.
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